How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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