Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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