I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
