So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
is wine microwaveable?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
