oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
