I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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