She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
