hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
