I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
