First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
