i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am available for nakedness
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
