So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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