Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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