Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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