Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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