I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I died a long time ago.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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