I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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