dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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