The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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