you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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