try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
