I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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