She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
