Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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