I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
