This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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