Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my liver is dry heaving
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
