Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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