Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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