I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
