singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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