is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
