I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
love makes seman taste better
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
