Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so let's talk penis.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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