if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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