i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
