Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
