dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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