i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
