I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
