and i looked up. we had an audience...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
