Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
