Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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