she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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