I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
