worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
