Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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