..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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