Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
