I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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