Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
