Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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