how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize