i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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