I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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