Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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