oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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