Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
