The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
