a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
