and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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