i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
