I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
