You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
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smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize