Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
