the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
