Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I am one with the molecules
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
